More Than Just Bubble Baths: Expanding Your Definition of Self-Love
This post is all about self-love and the best self-love practices
Apologies in advance, but for me, self-love isn’t about bubble baths, face masks, and everything in between. For me, exploring self-love is more practical, day-by-day figuring out who you are and what you want from yourself.
I’ve always thought that self-love is about date nights, staying home and cooking healthy dishes, taking an aesthetic pampering day out, or cultivating that perfect routine. but, for some that is exactly how they picture self-love to be, but for me, that is not the case.
I’m not surprised why in the past, the self-love definition wasn’t sticking by me, or in fact, why I wasn’t sticking to the whole wellness buzzword. Later on, through lots of trials, and errors and a whole lot of soul searching, I realised that self-love is beyond self-care. It’s an actual life change, where boundaries are set, new rules are formed, and a whole lot of finding who you are is a journey and not a quick fix.
It’s Not All About The Glitz And The Glam
Most of the time, people define self-love by taking bubble baths, face masks, and that perfect routine that you see on Instagram or YouTube. And, I am not going to lie, I did exactly that. But it never lasted longer than a week lol.
For me, these types of routines were quick fixes. If I felt awful about my body, I would go to the gym or eat clean. If I felt exhausted, I would focus on pampering myself and trying to stay up-to-date with the latest trends to just fit in and feel normal. But that got me nowhere. It led me to feel even worse about who I am, what I wanted in life and where I was.
Self-love isn’t about waking up one day to find everything is perfect and all the worries are not just there anymore. I had to get out of the concept of self-love as a quick fix, where bubble baths and sheet masks would make me feel happy and content about who I am. For me, to experience what self-love truly meant, I had to retrain my mind, and the way I thought and believed things to be. (I had to realise that life is and always will be, messy. And that is the beauty of what living means)!
It’s Not A Destination But A Journey
Now, I’m not going to preach that I figured out the perfect self-love routine, or journey, or am some way, a guru of self-love. But what it does mean, is that, like any human, I am consciously on my journey of improving and no longer believe that self-love and self-care is a destination. It’s not something I can achieve overnight. Or maybe, it’s not something I can fully understand. But it does mean that every day, I make an effort to improve my life, love who I am (even the parts of me that are highly weird), and find the right mental balance that aligns with my goals, my future, and even my physical well-being.
As someone who suffers from depression, mental health issues, and a whole lot of insecurities, I have found self-love to be a journey. A journey that might as well be uncomfortable on most days, but beautiful as well.
So, What Is Self Love?
Self-love is an act where for me, I’m learning about myself every day. I am becoming a much better person. Treating myself how I treat the ones I love around me. Finding a balance between being okay and not being okay. Everyone’s self-love journey is different and that is totally fine. No two people are the same. But being okay with who you are and where you are in life, is the beginning of any self-love journey. Getting uncomfortable with the questions you ask yourself, and learning to love the tiniest things that you once hated is the beginning of this beautiful path.
Here are some non-traditional self-love practices that help you be the best version of yourself:
Set Boundaries And Say No Where Needed
I was the biggest people pleaser around (and I still am, somewhat at least… but that is okay)!
To learn to say no, is the biggest challenge, especially when you’re riddled with a heap of insecurities. I always used to think that if I said no to anyone, I would lose them ASAP. but to be very honest, that was the unhealthiest thing for me. I used to get so drained out, and I turned into someone that I didn’t even like.
For me, boundaries aren’t about saying no all the time (which I think a lot of people assume tbvh). It is about what you prioritise at that moment and whether what you want to do is different from what you’re made to do. I used to sacrifice my time and space to accommodate others. I used to let myself down or hurt my feelings to not hurt the people that I love. But in the long run, that was harmful to my mental health. (and taking a bubble bath wouldn’t have helped me lol).
What To Keep In Mind When Setting Boundaries:
- Always make sure that whatever you’re saying YES to, aligns with what you want in that moment
- Sometimes, being selfish for your own mental health is TOTALLY OKAY
- Not putting up with a rude tone (even if you’re a people pleaser) is not right, and standing up for yourself is the BEST WAY TO GO
- Giving yourself your own time and taking space for your mental health is ABSOLUTELY FINE
- Knowing your path is different from the rest is NORMAL
- Working on your goals and sacrificing going out on a night out with friends IS BETTER THAN ANY POSSIBLE THING … EVERRRR
The Best Self-Love Practices That Work For A Health You
The ultimate self-love toolkit that turns your life around – mentally and physically
We’ve all been there, talking shiiit about ourselves but hyping up others. Being a doormat for our friends and even family and letting it happen thinking, it is a part of being a good person. (or maybe that is just how I have been lol). But tbvh, doing that leads you to nowhere.
The number one thing for me, that has worked, is retraining and reframing my mind. No matter how many self-development books you read (and I love to read them lol), until or unless you start taking action, they WILL NOT WORK FOR YOU!!!!
Identify what your ideal life looks like, what you want to achieve, and where you currently are. Reflect on what your boundaries look like, what type of self-care best suits your life, present and future self, and in terms of space, what your personal space means to you.
It’s not an overnight thing, it is a slow and steady journey, but bit by bit, you learn to love who you are and start finding the right balance to work on your future self.
The crucial part of self-love is identifying who you are and what you want from life. And from there, you learn, grow, make mistakes, and learn again!
You’re Mental Health Matters And Should Always Be A Priority
Just a few hours ago, I was sobbing my eyes out due to some stupid reasons that can be fixed. The thing is, we are always the best at giving advice (something my friends love about me lol) but tend to never ever take that advice for ourselves. We all have bad days, some days are even worse, but some days are FREAKIN AWESOME.
Remember to always focus on what you have, because gratitude goes a long way. I could have easily cried all night and not written a blog (something I have been meaning to do for months now … yikes), but instead, I chose to focus on what will help me this time. If I had sat and cried, my mental health would have gone downhill. I chose to suck it up and work on my blog and in return, I am feeling way better. It’s not about the bubble baths to feel at peace, it’s about what you know your mental health needs, but are too afraid to do.
Start taking your own advice that you love to give to others!!!
Bring More Of You To The Table
I used to hate being the girl who loved to talk (and was told many times that girls aren’t as loud as me). But then, when I tried to be that soft-spoken, shy girl (that wasn’t me lol), I felt even more uncomfortable with who I am.
I love to talk, ramble on for hours, and laugh at the most awkward times. But it makes me, me. And no one can tell you otherwise. You have to learn to bring more of yourself to the table because you are an individual and you are AMAZING.
Be loud, and be proud about it. Try that new thing you’ve always wanted to do and ramble on about it for hours. Because you can and you should. And if you feel like your personality is not welcome at the table, then LEAVE. Find your own table, or in fact, build one.
Your individuality is what will make you the most confident and self-loving kick-ass person around!
Find Your Interests That Go Beyond Sheet Masks And Aesthetic Routines
I’m not an aesthetic person lol. And that is something that I love about myself (at least now I do). I am nerdy, love to learn, and scroll endless articles on the most random topic possible. But that is what interests me and fuels my fire. Satisfies me mentally!
Learn, build your interests, and find your hobbies. Grow as a person, find out who you are, and realise that self-love and mental health work hand in hand. It’s not about the sheet masks, the bubble baths, or the aesthetic day/night routines, it’s about the mess, and how to tailor your life, what you love, and do as you please.
If you love to learn languages, flaunt it. If you have a skill, use it. Instead of pleasing people, please yourself. Growing personally, and inspiring your mind, will help you sustain self-love and take you on an EPIC SELF-LOVE JOURNEY.
Be Open And Inspire Change
I remember journalling was the new hype. I tried it and failed miserably. I hate jotting down how I feel, and tbh, I hardly remember what my emotions were throughout the day (because there are sooooo many lol). But that is A OKAY.
Journaling is not for me, but keeping my brain active and learning new ways to improve my current situation is. I love watching endless amounts of YouTube on productivity and reading articles about how to manage time. Writing is a passion, learning languages is a passion, and cooking is a newfound love of mine (even though I am not the best at it.. But that’s fineeee).
To find your new comfort, you have to be open to change. I hate having FOMO (I know I know), but tbh, the way I picture my future self, that doesn’t matter to me anymore. I would rather have a productive day than feel like I didn’t do anything because I was too involved in hanging out with friends. Change for the better and watch your self-love journey inspire your future self.
Commit To The Practice Of Self-Love
Self-love doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a journey, not a destination. It isn’t about the new face mask, or cultivating the aesthetic routine that you see trending. The best time to start is right now. Not tomorrow, not next week, or next month. But right about now!!
Some days will be hard. Some days will be beautiful, but that is part of the journey of self-love.
Self-love is a commitment to yourself. To become a better version of you. Not for anyone, but for yourself. It is about what you want in life, where you currently are, and to be grateful, happy, and content but to also know that you can improve, inspire, grow, and love who you are as much as you love the people around you.
I came to realise very quickly that dating was harder for me than for my friends. What I was looking for in other people, I could find in myself. I didn’t want to have to deal with the boring conversations, the endless looks, and awkward feelings lol. So, over time, I started to date myself. I started to love myself as much as I love other people. And I also know that if I am having a bad day, that is absolutely okay!
Understand Your Feelings
I never knew what I felt, because I never took the time to understand my feelings. To start your self-love journey, first understand your feelings. Understand what makes you tick, what are the no’s for you, and what your mental health looks like. If that comes in the journalling route, then you go for it.
Nourish Your Mind
Food is fuel. Find the balance between eating healthy and still eating the things you love. I am personally not a big fan of sweet things, but I love chocolate cake. So when I want to eat cake, I DOOO. but, finding the balance when it comes to food helps to nourish the mind while keeping you healthy and physically fit.
Learn New Things That Inspire You
We all love to learn right? Be it a new skill, a language, or something totally different like knitting lol. Learning new things helps to inspire and motivate you. Build those businesses, write that post, and learn to speak another language. Knowledge is power. Read, learn, and grow. Build yourself to a point where you can feel mentally better. Whether it is understanding your emotions better, learning how to cook so you can keep yourself healthy, or taking up a new hobby to keep yourself busy. Whatever it is, learn and learn some more.
Splurge On Yourself And Don’t Feel Guilty About It
I used to be the type of person to never buy anything for myself, but always buy the best of things for my friends or family. I slowly learned that when you spend on yourself, that gives the most benefit. I am starting to invest in jewellery, and saved money for that course I want. If I hadn’t been on my self-love journey, then I would have just put it forward and it would never have happened. Take baby steps, but slowly, and steadily, build the life you want. And splurge on yourself without feeling guilty about doing it!
Practice Self-Love Daily, Bit By Bit
Don’t overpack your day with a heap tone of self-love practices and feel demotivated the next. Slowly practise self-love daily. Whether that is taking time out for yourself, going for a walk, reading that book you have always wanted to, or just resting. Do some self-love affirmations, and positively talk to yourself. Self-talk your way through self-love!
Forgive What You Have Been Through
A big part of your self-love journey is forgiving yourself for your past. You have got to learn to forgive yourself and move forward in life. You are NOT A ROBOT. Making mistakes is a part of life (trust me, I have made a ton). But learning to forgive yourself is the biggest part of your self-love journey.
This post was all about the best self-care practices for your self-love journey!
